ย ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ธ๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐ค๐ฅ ๐น๐ ๐ ๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐ฆ โ๐๐ ๐น๐ฆ๐ช?:
ษดแดแดก ๊ฑแดแดแดสสแดสแด แดแดแดษชแด สแดแดแด & ษขสแดแดสษชแด ษดแดแด แดส สแดแดษชษดษข๊ฑ & สแดแด ษชแดแดก๊ฑ
[ ๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐ / ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐ / ๐ธ๐๐๐๐ / ๐ธ๐๐๐๐ ] 10-16-19 X-Men #1
This comic is like meeting up with a friend you havenโt seen in a long time… Then you see some pictures of them that pop up somewhere in your social media. They look good. They look healthy. They donโt look happy though and every picture they have this weird forced grin. Then you meet up with this friend again in person and theyโre just… Something off about them. You know this person. Theyโre your friend. This just isnโt quite in them. Then it gets weird because they say some things that are kind of racist. This is your friends and you try to give them the benefit of the doubt. โMaybe that didnโt quiteย mean what I thought they meant by that,โ you think, but the more you talk the more racist they sound. Then someone overhears your friend and theyโre mad about what your friend said. The thing is that person is racist too. So now youโre just watching a fight where you have no one to root for. Your old friend is a racistย piece of shit and the guy he is fighting is a racist piece of shit. Also, your friend doesnโt look as good as how he did in his vacation pics. They donโt look bad, but those pics are obviously photoshopped.
Enough of this analogy. Basically, we are stuck with the crappy status quo left from โHouse & Powers Of Xโ. This is more of that except the art isnโt as good and all the fun little surprises are gone. Also, thereโs no stakes because any of the main characters can be brought to life brought back to lifeย at any time.
We begin the issue with a cringy version of the first time โXavierโ gives โCyclopsโ his ruby quartz glasses. Thereโs some asshole remark about humans being blind and how he shouldnโt be like them or some stupid shit like that. We then cut the present day with the โX-Menโ are fighting the people they were fighting in โHouse Of Xโ. The team on this mission is โCyclopsโ, โMagnetoโ, โStormโ, and โPolarisโ. They all talk like a bunch of assholes about humans as they fight their way through this compound that kidnapped mutants or something. Somewhere in the middle a bunch of the human soldiers turn themselves in the apes and this is such shitty on-the-nose writing thatโs itโs embarrassing. Then they find some human child who was experimented on and given powers. She teleports away and the โX-Menโ decide to not even bother trying to find her because theyโre racist assholes now. They then rescue all the mutant kids and use their magic teleporting plant to take them all back to โKrakoaโ. The magic teleporting plant being a nice super convenient lazy writing way of โfast travelโ in all โX-booksโ now (except โX-men On A Boatโ… I mean โMaraudersโ).
We go to โKrakoaโ and thereโs a cringy scene with โMagnetoโ and a bunch of mutant kids. Thereโs a pointless scene with โCyclopsโ and โPolarisโ. We then cut back to the humans and the main evil human guy literally says theyโre โfighting the futureโ which is something no person would ever say unironically.
Then we cut to โCyclopsโ in his house… Which is on the moon. Heโs having a barbecue with the whole extended โSummersโ family along with โWolverineโ and โThe Starjammersโ. There are attempts at humor with โVulcanโ and โWolverineโ and โRachel Summersโ and the cat lady from โThe Starjammersโ. Theyโre not terrible but not good. โVulcanโ being there is stupid and terrible and heโs a terrible character to begin with so that just sucks by default. โRachel Summersโ still has the code name โPrestigeโ which is about the worst code name ever. Also โteen Cableโ is there, which might have been the worst idea ever. They had the opportunity to either forget this happened or retcon it but for some reason, they didnโt. Astounding.
Thought the extremelyย lazy information pages were just a part of โHouse and Powers Of Xโ? Nope! Theyโre now apparently a terrible part of every โX-bookโ now. Here weโre given the layout of โCyclopsโsโ house. For some reason, โWolverineโ has a room there. Lots of people are speculating this indicates that โWolverineโ and โCyclopsโ are eitherย tag-teaming โJean Greyโ or just sharing her. Gross. โWolverineโ take sloppy seconds from no man! Then thereโs a bunch of boring stuff between โCyclopsโ and his dad.
Back with the evil human people specifically that scientist lady from โHouse Of Xโ. She says something about having a crystal that could bring back her husband that died during โHouse Of Xโ. Unfortunately, no one cares about are these characters so fuck emโ.
Moving on, the artist here is Leinil Yu. Iโve never been a big fan of his work. I find he puts way too many lines on peopleโs faces and everybody looks old and kind of ugly. I think his art works better in non-superhero comics. Like crime comics. Stuff like that. I will say though this is the best his work has ever looked. Itโs still nowhere near as good as the art is โHouse and Powers Of Xโ though. This entire status quo is terrible and this issue sucks. As did โHouse and Powers Of Xโ. This is actually a little bit worse. C-.
Recommendation: One Of The Lesser Books You Can Buy