π•Žπ•™π•šπ•”π•™ β„‚π• π•žπ•šπ•”π•€ 𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕀π•₯ π”Ήπ• π• π•œπ•€ 𝕐𝕠𝕦 β„‚π•’π•Ÿ 𝔹𝕦π•ͺ?: ɴᴇᴑ κœ±α΄œα΄˜α΄‡Κ€Κœα΄‡Κ€α΄ ᴄᴏᴍΙͺα΄„ ʙᴏᴏᴋ & Ι’Κ€α΄€α΄˜ΚœΙͺα΄„ Ι΄α΄α΄ α΄‡ΚŸ Κ€α΄€α΄›Ιͺɴɒꜱ & ʀᴇᴠΙͺα΄‡α΄‘κœ± [ π™ΌπšŠπš›πšŸπšŽπš• / 𝙳𝙲 π™²πš˜πš–πš’πšŒπšœ / π™Έπš–πšŠπšπšŽ / π™Έπš—πšπš’πšŽ ] 11-06-19 New Mutants #1

π•Žπ•™π•šπ•”π•™ β„‚π• π•žπ•šπ•”π•€ 𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕀π•₯ π”Ήπ• π• π•œπ•€ 𝕐𝕠𝕦 β„‚π•’π•Ÿ 𝔹𝕦π•ͺ?:

ɴᴇᴑ κœ±α΄œα΄˜α΄‡Κ€Κœα΄‡Κ€α΄ ᴄᴏᴍΙͺα΄„ ʙᴏᴏᴋ & Ι’Κ€α΄€α΄˜ΚœΙͺα΄„ Ι΄α΄α΄ α΄‡ΚŸ Κ€α΄€α΄›Ιͺɴɒꜱ & ʀᴇᴠΙͺα΄‡α΄‘κœ±

[ π™ΌπšŠπš›πšŸπšŽπš• / 𝙳𝙲 π™²πš˜πš–πš’πšŒπšœ / π™Έπš–πšŠπšπšŽ / π™Έπš—πšπš’πšŽ ]

11-06-19 New Mutants #1

 

I’m pretty behind on these reviews. One benefit to this though is that I’ve read ahead and see how connected books like the β€œX-titles” affect each other. This series, for instance, seems to exist only to explain a minor plot point in β€œX-men” #2. That plot point is why β€œDoug Ramsey” (who can translate anything) isn’t around to help translate something. There’s several better ways to explain this, but why not milk the audience for a few more bucks?

We start this one off with the soulless cloning… I mean β€œresurrecting” of β€œWolfsbane” (who got murked in the storyline right before β€œHouse/ Powers Of X”). We get what is now a customary cringey scene of out-of-character β€œStorm” talking like a cult leader to β€œWolfsbane” as she’s freshly resurrected and naked and gooey. She’s then chilling in β€œKrakoa” and it’s painted out to be like heaven or something.

You know deleted scenes in a movie where you watch them and go β€œoh yeah good thing they cut that out”! That’s about a third of the comic from there. There’s a part where β€œKrakoa” speaks through β€œMondo” and it disturbs both of them. From there characters from β€œNew Mutants” and β€œGeneration X” do stuff. Not interesting stuff or stuff of any importance. Just stuff. There’s some unfunny jokes and some β€œanti-human” talk sprinkled in because what’s an β€œX-title” under this status quo without the equivalent of casual racism thrown in? Then some of them remember β€œCannonball” is in space visiting his family… Wait what? I thought his family were a bunch of hillbillies! What the fuck are they doing in space?! Think this comic is going take the effort to explain that? Haha! Of course not.

So they use the fast travel plant that β€œCorsair” was given in β€œX-men #1” to go to β€œCorsair’s” ship. The fast travel plant is fucking with the plants one the Starjammers, β€œCh’od” is growing so β€œDoug” sticks the teleporting plant inside β€œMondo” and this solves the problem.

While traveling through space β€œMagik” beats the β€œStarjammer”,”Raza” in a sword fight that the others bet on. The β€œStarjammers” then go to a space station called β€œBenevolence”. β€œCorsair” lies about the place to the β€œNew Mutants” in about as heavy-handed a way as possible with something about a super repressive religion and tells them to stay on the ship. Immediately all the β€œNew Mutants” want to leave the ship except β€œRoberto” and they ditch his ass to leave the ship when he goes to get booze. β€œMagik” teleports them to the space station and as they run into β€œThe Starjammers” it’s quickly revealed that this was really about them stealing this egg thing from the β€œShi’ar”. A bunch of β€œShi’ar” soldiers soon come and pin the β€œNew Mutants” down and then β€œThe Starjammers” just leave them hanging. That’s next level dickishness, but it gets worse. β€œThe Starjammers” return to their ship and β€œRoberto” learns the rest of his team are getting left behind. Naturally β€œRoberto” is like β€œwhat the fuck, man”?! Then β€œThe Starjammers” give their petty bullshit reasons for leaving a bunch of kids to death or imprisonment in space jail and kick β€œRoberto” out for questioning it. Unbelievable dickishness. We then end with the β€œNew Mutants” captured and there’s mention of a β€œspace lawyer” that I guess we’ll see next issue.

So a lot of straight up wasted pages and kind a stupid pointless plot that makes β€œThe Starjammers” look like assholes. I’ll give the writers the benefit of the doubt on this and go with either they’ll have a change of heart or this is some part of a bigger plan β€œCorsair” has. The painted art is nice though. C.

Reccommendation: One Of The Lesser Books You Can Buy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s