๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?: X-Men + Fantastic Four #1

๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?: X-Men + Fantastic Four #1

 

The two main things going on are:

  1. ย  ย  ย  Franklin Richards is slowly losing his mutant power to warp reality/create universes the more he uses them.
  2. ย  ย  ย  And the X-Men want to bring Franklin to Krakoa to be part of their mutant separatist terrorist Ethnostate.

During the โ€œX-Men And Fantastic Fourโ€ mini-series from many years ago, Kitty Pryde and Franklin developed a friendship. Xavier and Magneto want to exploit this friendship to help them recruit Franklin. Xavier also at least mentions helping Franklin with his powers, so heโ€™s less of an asshole than normal. When asked, Kitty hesitates a bit but goes along with it and a team of X-Men leave Krakoa to go get Franklin.

In the Fantastic Fourโ€™s headquarters, Mr. Fantastic Four does some tests on Franklin and he canโ€™t figure out what it going in with Franklinโ€™s powers. Franklin is kind of a dick about it and acts like Reed isnโ€™t really trying then he storms out. Heโ€™s a frustrated kid, so this is understandable.ย  Sue tries to explain to Reed how to Franklin this means heโ€™s losing the one thing that is special about him.

We then get an info page with Mr. Fantasticโ€™s notes on a theory that the Fantastic Fourโ€™s source for their powers comes from intra-dimensional sources of energy called โ€œGodpowerโ€. It is his theory that Franklin has become disconnected from โ€œGodpowerโ€. For an info page (which I will always be against) itโ€™s the best Iโ€™ve seen. Itโ€™s short, and it has relevant information that is actually interesting.

Our next scene has Franklin and The Thing talking in a diner. Franklin suggests his dad unconsciously not putting his full effort into solving the issues with either of their respective powers. Ben is like โ€œnah, cuzโ€™ Iโ€™d fuck him up if that were the caseโ€. Johnny then shows up to tell them the X-Men have come to their HQ.

Back there, Sue has an invisible bubble blocking the X-Men from entering. Thereโ€™s a little back and forth about them taking Franklin and Sue is firmly against it. Kitty phases through the invisible bubble and hugs Franklin. This settles things down and Sue lets Xavier and Magneto in to talk. Xavier briefly goes into why he and pretty much all mutants have become assholes and Reed gives the rational response to this telling him theyโ€™re acting like theyโ€™re โ€œabove humanityโ€. Magneto, of course, says they are. Xavier then reiterates that Franklin belongs in their mutant separatist terrorist Ethnostate. Sue, also being rational, tells them they can go fuck themselves with their separatist bullshit. I have never liked the Fantastic Four this much!

Magneto then talks directly to Franklin trying to convince him and Franklin considers visiting. Sue then puts an invisible bubble around Magneto. Things go south from there, so Kitty phases Franklin out of the building and Kitty seems to fly them away to a park near a portal to Krakoa. I have no idea how this is possible. When they land Kitty promises to support Franklin no matter what decision he makes. Franklin again expresses some interest in visiting Krakoa, hoping to get help with his powers. Johnny catches up to them and jumps to conclusions thinking Kitty is kidnapping him. Storm then blows him away with her power unprovoked. This starts a big fight between the X-Men and the Fantastic Four. In the middle of this, Reed (being the voice of reason again) tells Xavier โ€œhey asshole when heโ€™s an adult he can decide if he wants to visit your mutant separatist terrorist Ethnostate, but you have some kind of timetable for it which makes you suspiciousโ€.

Franklin then runs through the portal to Krakoa but he remains in the park with the others. It is then revealed that Mr. Fantastic created a device to mask Franklinโ€™s X-gene so he canโ€™t access the portals. This ends the situation and Reed gets painted as the bad guy for doing this. The X-Men then leave through the portal.

To be clear, the only thing Mr. Fantastic did that was wrong was not telling his son about it. He should have told him, and it should have been absolutely non-negotiable that the device would be used until he was an adult that is no longer living under his roof. It is absolutely his right as a father not to allow his underage son to go unescorted to some mutant separatist terrorist Ethnostate where he would be bombarded with anti-human propaganda and surrounded by mutant criminals, terrorists, and genocidal madmen. Weโ€™re then hit repeatedly with the idea that Reed was wrong when at most he was mildly wrong.

After this, we see that Franklin and his sister Valeria have snuck on board Kitty’s (and her team The Marauderโ€™s) ship assuming the ship was headed to Krakoa. Kitty finds them and informs them theyโ€™re actually on a mission to rescue some refugee mutants. The boat then gets attacked by some mechanical tentacles that look like Dr. Octopusโ€™ for some reason. The issue ends as Dr. Doom boards the ship and after seeing Franklin and Valeria he asks โ€œwhereโ€™s your fatherโ€?

All the annoying stuff with this current run of X-men aside, this was a pretty good issue. Kitty actually acted like Kitty and not the red coat wearing pirate asshole sheโ€™s been acting like in Marauders. The art is pretty good except something about the inking being slightly off. Less detailed background characters seemed to suffer the most due to this. Iโ€™m so happy this comic has people challenging the stupid BS the X-Men have been on lately. It is very refreshing. The stuff with Reed โ€œbeing wrongโ€ could have been dialed down significantly though. Anyway, solid book. B-.

Recommendation: One Of The Better Books You Can Buy

๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?: X-Men #5

๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?: X-Men #5

 

We begin this issue with three panels that take up more than half the page that was just black. There is no reason for this other than to waste space. Wasting space will be a recurring problem in this issue that helps to ruin what could have been a fairly solid comic. When people pay for a comic they are paying for between twenty and twenty-four pages of art and story. Not info pages. Not repeated panels where the only change is the color. Not purposelessly blank panels. Art and story. Stop cheating people out of their money!

Moving on, after the three blank panels we see Cyclops regretting something and we then flash back to what caused this regret in the rest of this issue. In the first issue of this series the X-men free this human girl who was accidentally kidnapped along with mutants. This girl was from something referred to as โ€œThe Vaultโ€. The girl teleports away and the X-Men (specifically Cyclops) donโ€™t even bother to look for her because sheโ€™s not a mutant. Thereโ€™s a lot of nonsense talk in part of the comic that I mostly ignored but some of it wasnโ€™t nonsense. It was actually referring to stuff that hadnโ€™t been explained yet. This seems to be a part of this thing Iโ€™m seeing more and more in writing where โ€œtricking the audienceโ€ is seen as the height of being clever. Some people really eat this stuff up. I donโ€™t.

This issue continues from this as it begins with Wolverine chasing after this girl in Ecuador. The girl encounters two farmers and uses some power to control them. Wolverine then confronts the farmers, hoping that he doesnโ€™t have to hurt them. This doesnโ€™t work, and he has to beat the shit out of them. This is the best written Wolverine scene Iโ€™ve seen in years. As much as Iโ€™ve bashed Hickman I must give it to the man. He absolutely nails Wolverine when he tries. After some time Wolverine tracks the girl down just as she enters The Vault which is at the base of giant seemingly destroyed Sentinel. Wolverine informs Cyclops that โ€œtheyโ€œll need to find another way inโ€.

We then waste two entire pages showing the girl is in The Vault. Thereโ€™s no difference between these pages besides some designs and computer effects and a tiny amount of information that takes up about half of each page. This easily could have been one page either by making the page two large panels or putting all the information on one page.

Back with the X-men, we learn about The Vault. If you know your โ€œDragon Ballโ€ itโ€™s like the โ€œhyperbolic time chamberโ€ on steroids.

hyperbolic-time-chamber-gif-4

Basically, time moves really fast inside of The Vault. Weโ€™re then told the people in The Vault go through โ€œhuman adaptation along technological lines, not evolutionaryโ€. What the hell does that mean though? The best I can come up with is some constantly improving A.I. is augmenting these people with technology as it learns. This tech is super-advanced because hundreds of yearsโ€™ worth of innovation can happen within much less time in The Vault.

The X-men then decide toย send Darwin, Synch, and X-23 in to investigate and report back because they are thought to be the most likely to survive. X-32 insists on being called Wolverine even though Wolverine is there. Actual Wolverine even supports this. Itโ€™s such an unnecessary and cringe-worthy scene that commenting on it further will only give it a level of acknowledgment it doesnโ€™t deserve. So I wonโ€™t.

The three are then basicallyย treated like cattle as the danger is presented. More than likely they will be stuck in The Vault for what will be thousands of years to them. โ€œIf you donโ€™t get out, we canโ€™t download the information from your minds which will be completely destroyed by being in some lifeless void for thousands of yearsโ€. Also, the phrase โ€œtemporal shearโ€ gets thrown around. What doesnโ€™t this mean? Fuck if I know, but it sounds cool, right? Then X-23 who just threw a hissy fit about being called Wolverine calls actual Wolverine, Wolverine and says he should go. Wolverine then basicallyย says โ€œgeneric excuseโ€ and that settles that.

excusememe

Now our customary info page with Dr. Cecilia Reyes explaining how reviving long-dead mutants like Synch can cause psychological problems because the world has changed so much since they died. It is then suggested that mutants under theseย circumstancesย shouldย be brought back to life in โ€œclustersโ€ so they can support each other. This makes sending Synch on this mission that will be emotionally damaging even crueler. Xavier even refers to him as a โ€œredundancyโ€. God, I just want someone toย punch this version of Xavier in the face! This is actually an interesting concept though. One that could have easily been presented within the actual story with art.

Speaking of wasting pages, we have two more pages where half of it gets taken up with pointless information. These pages actuallyย have different art on the bottom half of their respective pages though. One is the โ€œVault girlโ€ kneeling, and the other is the โ€œVault girlโ€ with four other โ€œVault peopleโ€.

Cyclops, Storm, and Armor then attack the outside of The Vault as a distraction so X-23 and the others can sneak in. The Vault sends some defense robots out to fight the X-men. Then Darwin extends his hand to the entrance and some energy fucks up his hand. Is this the โ€œtemporal shearโ€? I still donโ€™t know, but then some โ€œtranslocatorโ€ the X-men found is used to open The Vault. The X-Men retreat from the defense robots and the others enter The Vault. There are two more wasted pages where nothing is different besides the designs and colors as Synch, X-23, and Darwin stand in The Vault and are discovered by it. Theyโ€™re fucked.

We then jump back to the beginning of the comic where we see Cyclopsโ€™ regret. Heโ€™s talking to Xavier, and it is revealed it has been three months and five days since X-23 and the other have been in The Vault. For them, it has been five hundred and thirty-seven years. Cyclops asks if thereโ€™s been some change and Xavier responds โ€œyesโ€. Cyclops regrets sending them in.

There are some half-decent ideas and one of the artists from โ€œHouse/ Powers Of Xโ€ is back, so the art is great. This comic is done in by pointless vagueness of some of the concepts and all the wasted pages. This oneโ€™s so close to a B, but ultimately the scene with X-23 insisting on being called Wolverine knocks this down to a C+.

Recommendation: One Of The Lesser Books You Can Buy

๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?: ๐™Ž๐™๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฉ ๐™๐™š๐™ซ๐™ž๐™š๐™ฌ๐™จ ๐™Š๐™› ๐™“-๐™ˆ๐™š๐™ฃ 2-4 & ๐šƒ๐š‘๐šŽ ๐™ฒ๐š˜๐š—๐š๐š’๐š๐š’๐š˜๐š—๐šœ ๐™พ๐š ๐™ผ๐šข ๐š‚๐šž๐š›๐š›๐šŽ๐š—๐š๐šŽ๐š›

๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?:

๐™Ž๐™๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฉ ๐™๐™š๐™ซ๐™ž๐™š๐™ฌ๐™จ ๐™Š๐™› ๐™“-๐™ˆ๐™š๐™ฃ 2-4

& ๐šƒ๐š‘๐šŽ ๐™ฒ๐š˜๐š—๐š๐š’๐š๐š’๐š˜๐š—๐šœ ๐™พ๐š ๐™ผ๐šข ๐š‚๐šž๐š›๐š›๐šŽ๐š—๐š๐šŽ๐š›

 

X-Men #2

Comics used to be better. Donโ€™t get me wrong theyโ€™re always bad comics even terrible ones. The best comics were fantastic remarkable pieces of art that pushed the medium in new directions. Nowadays the best comics are pretty good maybe even great with a small โ€œGโ€. What really suffers though, is that creamy middle level of comics. All of this is to say this comic is pretty good… By todayโ€™s standards… Back in the day, this would be considered a perfectly serviceable filler issue. Something used as a nice little break after a big storyline. Nothing too fancy. Just a few characters going on some minor mission with a little character interaction and banter. Basically, Cyclops, Rachel, and Teen Cable investigate the sister Island to Krakoa and run into the inhabitants. Thereโ€™s some misunderstandings. Something, something, Apocalypse is involved with the people on the island and thatโ€™s pretty much it. Teen Cable still sucks and heโ€™s kind of annoying but itโ€™s not overbearing. Itโ€™s just an average normal comic. Iโ€™ll give it a B.

Recommendation: One Of The Better Books You Can Buy

X-Men #3

This issue on the other hand… Holy fuck! This oneโ€™s going to be super short. You know Poison Ivy? Well splits her into 3, take away her powers, and make all three of her 80. Thatโ€™s the villain. They attack some mutants in the Savage Land and Cyclops, Emma Frost, and Sebastian Shaw go to investigate. They actually kick Sebastian shows ass and itโ€™s literally the stupidest thing I think Iโ€™ve ever seen! Thereโ€™s a bunch of terrible old people jokes. Thereโ€™s a fake catty scene between Jean Grey and Emma thatโ€™s stupid as fuck. Itโ€™s like a bad joke gone way too far. Easily a candidate for โ€œworst comic of 2019โ€. D-.

Recommendation: One Of The Worst Books You Can Buyย 

X-Men #4

I can now never unknow how stupid Apocalypse in a suit while attending a meeting is. I can never have the pure stupidity of that image scrubbed from my brain. Itโ€™s clear Hickman is bored with his own status quo here. So this whole series is just random things happening that usually involve Cyclops for some reason. Anyway, this is another issue that involves meetings with humans and the humans planning some kind of double-cross. Xavier, Magneto, and Apocalypse go meet with some people at the โ€œWorld Economic Forumโ€ in Switzerland. Cyclops and Gorgon are also there as security.ย 

If youโ€™re wondering if they bother to explain who Gorgon is in case you havenโ€™t read every issue of โ€œWolverineโ€ (heโ€™s a Wolverine villain) then your expectations are way too high for this comic. Itโ€™s your fault for expecting more at this point. Anyway, I donโ€™t know much about him, but I hear he murdered children so Iโ€™m surprised he was in the front of the line to rule the terrorist Ethnostate of Krakoa.

Anyway, the humans planned to have some guys shoot at Xavier, Magneto, and Apocalypse. The latter two being useless to attempt this on, but Cyclops and Gorgon stops this. Gorgon then maims all the shooter guys. So itโ€™s as crappy as usual. C-. And with this, I offer the conditions of my surrenderโ€ฆ

I give up. I admit I didnโ€™t understand the nature of this conflict and Iโ€™ve underestimated my opponent. I just want to say I donโ€™t want to fight and that I want peace. I honestly didnโ€™t know no we were still at war. I thought we had made an unspoken agreement to a ceasefire.

ย 

This all started a few years ago when due to Fox owning the rights to the X-Men movies Marvel deemphasized them and forced the Inhumans on us as a replacement. Those of us the love that X-Men declared all-out war. We fought long, and we fought hard but we beat you we beat you badly. It was an embarrassing defeat. I see now that you never let that defeat go. You pushed these characters on us for years and we said no. Then you finally caved. Your final attack was the โ€œAge Of X-Menโ€ storyline. It was a move of desperation. Thatโ€™s the only logical explanation for putting out something so shitty. Something that took so long and was so pointless. But finally… The war was over.

See, I thought the announcement of Hickmanโ€™s run on X-Men was a white flag and an olive branch. I wasnโ€™t the biggest fan of the manโ€™s past work, but it was certainly competent work. Youโ€™re actually going to try with X-Men comics again? Thatโ€™s all we ever wanted. Then House and Powers Of X was launched, and it was like reading it punished you for thinking. I didnโ€™t realize the nice art was the โ€œTrojan Horseโ€. It got worse and worse and stupider and stupider as it strayed further away from anything that X-Men ever was or should ever be. I was one of the few that sounded the alarm. I thought this was merely poor storytelling… But now I realize that no the war never ended.ย 

This whatโ€™s our punishment. I do want to stop for a second to say I tried to be fair. Iโ€™m one of the few who would say I donโ€™t think the Inhumans show was that bad. I liked it a hell of a lot more than Agents Of Shield. It had kind of likable characters. Maximus was an interesting villain… But I was outvoted. They showed no mercy in ridiculing and destroying it.

Let me get back on topic. I now understand that ruthlessness is the same level of ruthlessness you are now showing us through the X-Men. I underestimated you. I honestly never thought youโ€™d be willing to just kill the X-Men as a franchise completely, but I clearly see now that youโ€™re willing to do it. Youโ€™re not bluffing. X-Men #3 was like the bomb dropped on Hiroshima and I see the bomb coming for Nagasaki. I saw the little ad campaign for that โ€œHellionsโ€ book. The book with a completely wrong nonsensical title that should be for a book about evil teen mutants with a complete slapdash cast of characters that make no sense whatsoever. Iโ€™ve seen a constant carpet bombing for all the other terrible โ€œX-titlesโ€. Iโ€™m not willing to wait for the other big one. I surrender. Just spare X-Men. Just stop. You donโ€™t even have to retcon it. Weโ€™ll all just pretend this didnโ€™t happen.ย 

If you feel the need to do it Iโ€™ll just give you this. After โ€œAge of X-Manโ€ everybody hallucinated and none of this shit happened. There you go. Quick and to the point and we never need to discuss any of this again. In return Iโ€™ll buy any Inhumans book you put out. Go ahead and put out five in Inhumans books every month. Thatโ€™s twenty bucks a month now. Thatโ€™s more than double what people pay for โ€œDisney+โ€. Iโ€™m not even asking for X-Men to be good. Just regular mediocre unsatisfying X-Men. Just stop doing this! I care about X-Men too much. Maybe we can both agree on that someday and youโ€™ll put out a good X-Men comic. For the love of God though, stop this terrorist Ethnostate thing youโ€™ve made! You win! You fucking win, okay?!

 

 

๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?: Iฬณnฬณcฬณoฬณmฬณpฬณlฬณeฬณtฬณeฬณ ฬณRฬณeฬณvฬณiฬณeฬณwฬณsฬณ ฬณOฬณfฬณ ฦ‘ฤ…ำ€ำ€าฝีฒ ศบีฒึาฝำ€ส‚ ๐Ÿ™, แดแด€ส€แด€แดœแด…แด‡ส€๊œฑ 2, & ๐—˜๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฎ

๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?:

Iฬณnฬณcฬณoฬณmฬณpฬณlฬณeฬณtฬณeฬณ ฬณRฬณeฬณvฬณiฬณeฬณwฬณsฬณ ฬณOฬณfฬณ ฦ‘ฤ…ำ€ำ€าฝีฒ ศบีฒึาฝำ€ส‚ ๐Ÿ™,

แดแด€ส€แด€แดœแด…แด‡ส€๊œฑ 2, & ๐—˜๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฎ

 

I was doing a month-long drawing project in December so I didnโ€™t have time to do reviews. I did start these reviews though. I went back and forth over putting them out and ultimately decided to because I think thereโ€™s some funny entertaining stuff in these. I have been keeping up with these books though and to sum up all of these comics so far…

Fallen Angels: The only X-title under this current status quo with overall decent writing. This comic was plagued with โ€œnot ready for prime timeโ€ art though. It also ends pretty anti-climatic. Decent overall. B- as a series.

Every other X-title: Varying degrees of stupid and terrible. X-Force had potential but it quickly devolved. C-โ€™s for the lot of them.ย ย ย 

Fallen Angels #1

Letโ€™s get the confusing part out of the way. Who the hell is Psylocke?

  • ย Elizabeth (Betsy) Braddock was an English woman with telepathic powers and a โ€œpsychic knifeโ€ that discombobulates people that are hit with it.
  • She was the sister to Captain Britain and recently took his mantle and powers in Excalibur. She joined the X-men using the codename Psylocke. Keep this bit in mind laterโ€ฆ
  • โ€œThe Handโ€ captured her and switched her body with a Japanese assassin woman named Kwannon. She kept her powers and got a hot Asian ninja body. I think it gave her a โ€œthirst for fightingโ€ or something too. Iโ€™ll refer to this person as Betsy.
  • At some point her powers switched from telepathy to telekinesis.
  • ย  ย  ย  ย  ย Kwannon was in โ€œElizabethโ€™sโ€ body which contracted the โ€œLegacy Virusโ€ and died. She also somehow had โ€œElizabethโ€™sโ€ original powers. Weโ€™ll go with both body and mind access โ€œX-geneโ€ abilities or something. It doesnโ€™t work but whateverโ€ฆ
  • Something happened in some mini-series I never read where Kwannon was resurrected and they switched back to their original bodies.
  • This story is about Kwannon

We begin the story with what appears to be Kwannonโ€™s daughter. She seems to be controlled by some evil force and derails a subway train. Kwannon narrates how she wants to find this daughter and bring her to Krakoa and how peaceful Krakoa is. The only word spoken by this daughter is Apoth. Apoth seems to be the ultimate villain of this comic.

We then go to Kwannon as sheโ€™s meditating in Krakoa. Some being or force (possibly God as โ€œAbrahamโ€ is mentioned) contacts her and mentally tells her this Apoth person is evolving people: that heโ€™s taken something from her; and that she needs to go to Japan and fight him. So far so goodโ€ฆ Unfortunately, we have to deal with this status quo soโ€ฆ

Kwannon goes to see Magneto as heโ€™s in charge since they havenโ€™t brought back Xavier yet after he was killed in โ€œX-force #1โ€. Theyโ€™re really trying to milk this. She asks for permission to leave Krakoa because apparently on top of being a terrorist ethnostate itโ€™s a prison now because things are on โ€œlockdownโ€ after Xavier was shot. The โ€œMaraudersโ€ and Excalibur teams are an exception apparently because reasons. Or editors donโ€™t try anymore. Take your pick. The scene is fairly tedious but we learn โ€œKwannonโ€ has chosen to take the name Psylocke. Remember that bit I told you to remember before? This is where it comes up. Hereโ€™s what they should have done:

  • Besty should be Psylocke as that was always her codename. Scrap the whole โ€œher being Captain Britain thingโ€. So far she doesnโ€™t even use any of those powers.
  • ย Kwannon should just be โ€œKwannon. Revanche would also be acceptable.

Back with the scene, Magneto dicks around about it and is like โ€œask Mr. Sinister, something, something. I canโ€™t officially let you so Iโ€™ll pretend like you didnโ€™t askโ€. The whole time youโ€™re just like โ€œlet her go you assholeโ€! Then we get an even more tedious scene with Mr. Sinister. As they talk Kwannon says something about people not trusting her. I donโ€™t get what this is about. As far as I ever knew she was an ally to the X-men. Why wouldnโ€™t they trust her? They trust straight up genocidal monsters like Apocalypse but not her?! โ€œSinisterโ€ eventually agrees to give her passage out of Krakoa.

Next we cut to some party people are having that night on Krakoa. While others are dancing X-23 is sitting and Teen Cable asks her about it.ย  I think heโ€™s trying to mack on her but Iโ€™m not sure. X-23 is basically like โ€œyou tryna scrapโ€? The Teen Cable is like โ€œyou want none of thisโ€! Then X-23 kicks his ass.

fight

Itโ€™s great! Teen Cable sucks. Kwannon then sees them and is like โ€œhey, yaโ€™ll looks like yaโ€™ll might be up for a possible death mission. If you got the sack for it, meet me at my cribโ€.ย 

Marauders #2

Info page with some unknown person contacting the US Navy about The Marauders.

  • ย ย The video from last issue went viral
  • Thereโ€™s something about Storm giving mutants hard drives that allow them to contact other mutants and leave their countries.
  • ย Something about The Marauders conducting business in โ€œwhiskey bars, gay dance clubs, and an underground casinoโ€ and this mystery person needing money for agents theyโ€™ve placed in these places in case The Marauders return
  • ย Something about The Marauders stealing a boat from someone birthday party because theyโ€™re thieving assholes who have never heard of the โ€œBlackbirdโ€ or any other plane they could easily legally get

Emma talks telepathically to the Stepford Cuckoos. Thereโ€™s something about sticking together as women. Emma and Sebastian Shaw then talk about how he is somehow losing money and ships while selling miracle drugs on the black market. So I guess Sebastian Shaw is a bungling idiot which is the exact opposite of what I thought. I guess the mutants on these ships canโ€™t fight worth a fuck and are also incompetent. Iโ€™m not even going to fight you on this comicโ€ฆWe then go to The Marauders mid-battle with Batroc The Leaper and some goons. This team has Storm, Ice-Man, and Pyro on it so them not beating them in less than a minute is an embarrassment. Pryoโ€™s so useless heโ€™s reduced to biting a guy. Time to hit the Danger Room guys youโ€™ve gotten rusty. The exception is Kitty who just like in the last issue proves to be such a good fighter everyone else is covering her at most. On another note the timeline is pretty murky and unclear but Kitty is still sporting the injury to her nose from the beginning of issue one. If itโ€™s still injured she needs to go to a fucking doctor already because conservatively itโ€™s had to have been several weeks by now.

Excalibur #2

We start way in the past and see Apocalypse watch two mutants drown. Heโ€™s a dick. Thatโ€™s well established. Then we cut to the Excalibur team on the Maraudersโ€™ ship. Theyโ€™re going to where the old Excalibur team had a lighthouse to set up one of their fast travel plants there. Planes just donโ€™t exist anymore so itโ€™s up to Kitty and her apparently permanently disfigured nose to sail them there. Kitty jokes about hot tubsโ€ฆ I donโ€™t even have the energy to groan at this shit anymoreโ€ฆ

Rogue is still frozen from last issue so her husband Gambit really isnโ€™t having Kittyโ€™s bullshit. Seriously though Kitty is coming off like a real โ€œsee you next Tuesdayโ€ here as she also make a joke about Jubilee leaving her defenseless baby on an island filled with mutant terrorists to be involved in this nonsense. Poor Shogo (thatโ€™s the baby btw if you didnโ€™t know).

The boat is then attacked by some all black female looking creatures called โ€œSelkiesโ€ (Betsy tells us theyโ€™re like Seal-people) that were sent by Morgan Le Fay. During this confrontation we learn the lighthouse is somehow gone. Betsy leaves the ship and the Selkies follow her. She then climbs to a cliff and they canโ€™t walk on land so theyโ€™re fucked.ย 

highground

Why send something this Goddamn useless?! Why is everything so Goddamn convenient all the time?! Why?!

Okay deep breathโ€ฆ Sorry. Letโ€™s continue. Betsy uses telekinesis to move Rogue to her and the others eventually join her. They move further up the cliff to find some remnants of the lighthouse and discover a group of people in green cloaks that look like the guys that drowned in the beginning of this comic only Betsy can see them.

gazoo

๐˜๐˜ด ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ˆ ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜š๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ?: ส€แด‡แด ษชแด‡แดก๊œฑ แด๊œฐ แด€แด„แด›ษชแดษด & ๊œฑแดœแด˜แด‡ส€สœแด‡ส€แด ส€แด‡สŸแด‡แด€๊œฑแด‡๊œฑ -โ– โ–‚ โ–„ โ–… โ–† โ–‡ โ–ˆ Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker โ–ˆ โ–‡ โ–† โ–… โ–„ โ–‚ โ–

๐˜๐˜ด ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ˆ ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜š๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ?:

ส€แด‡แด ษชแด‡แดก๊œฑ แด๊œฐ แด€แด„แด›ษชแดษด & ๊œฑแดœแด˜แด‡ส€สœแด‡ส€แด ส€แด‡สŸแด‡แด€๊œฑแด‡๊œฑ

โ– โ–‚ โ–„ โ–… โ–† โ–‡ โ–ˆ Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker โ–ˆ โ–‡ โ–† โ–… โ–„ โ–‚ โ–

 

Letโ€™s be clear. โ€œThe Last Jediโ€ was the equivalent of someone knocking out a pilot in the middle of a plane ride (with an unclear destination); steering the plane directly into a storm, and then ripping out the engine and jumping out. This being a good movie seemed nearly impossible. Then the reviews started coming in and they were bad. To say the least, my expectations were low. Wellโ€ฆ I think the plane landed. This movie is far from perfect but I found it enjoyable overall.

The Emperor is back and thereโ€™s no way around it this is hard to swallow. The more I thought about it though, the more I couldnโ€™t really see what else they could do. If โ€œKyloโ€ is the big bad guy then โ€œReyโ€™sโ€ already beat him a few times now. Bringing back โ€œSnokeโ€ would be worse and it would be really weird to bring in someone new at the point. Some people feel bringing โ€œPalpatineโ€ back undoes everything that was accomplished in the original trilogy. I think this is a bit much. โ€œAnakinโ€ overcoming his masterโ€™s manipulation still lead to somewhere between twenty and thirty years of relative peace in the galaxy. Thatโ€™s not nothing. Whatโ€™s harder to swallow though is the armada of secret ships that all have โ€œDeath Starโ€ cannons. Meh! Sith magic I guess.

forceworks

From there I straight up like the first half-hour or so even with its rapid-fire pace. To be clear, I still like the rest of the movie overall but from this point, there are some โ€œbumps in the roadโ€. This part gives me the main things I wanted to see which the three main characters interacting, โ€œReyโ€ doing some actual training, and characters like โ€œChewbaccaโ€ and โ€œ3POโ€ having something to do. Iโ€™ve seen some complaints about how much more advanced โ€œReyโ€™sโ€ training is than โ€œLukeโ€™sโ€ was and how this is โ€œJ.Jโ€ overdoing things but to be fair we only saw the beginning of โ€œLukeโ€™sโ€ training in โ€œThe Empire Strikes Backโ€. โ€œReyโ€ is a student that is a few years in now. It makes sense that her training is more advanced. Another complaint is thereโ€™s a bunch of macguffinsโ€ฆ I just donโ€™t care. The chase for them was entertaining to me and again it got me the character interaction and action I wanted.ย 

An aspect of this section that I like is that โ€œReyโ€ doesnโ€™t do everything perfectly, misses shots and messed up like an actual character. I could do without โ€œForce healingโ€ though. I know itโ€™s in the books and comics and stuff but I could still do without it. Anyway, itโ€™s pretty good untilโ€ฆ โ€œReyโ€ force grabs a shipโ€ฆ WAY OVERPOWERED. Then โ€œKyloโ€ does it too and it gets worse and worse until Rey destroys the ship killing โ€œChewieโ€โ€ฆ Who way too soon after is lazily written off as being just fine. More stuff happens and then 3PO gets his memory wiped which leads to a couple of okay jokes then again this is fixed way too fast. We meet some new characters in the middle of this and I donโ€™t really like or dislike them but they serve their job of giving Finn and Poe people to talk to and something to do.ย 

Alright, let get to itโ€ฆ โ€œReyโ€™sโ€ parentage. Personally, I think she should have just been โ€œLukeโ€™sโ€ daughter and that wanting a family is why โ€œLukeโ€™sโ€ students leave him or why he leaves his Jedi order. Itโ€™s predictable but this is something that should be. The main characters of these movies have always been โ€œSkywalkersโ€. โ€œReyโ€ being no one COULD work if executed well and if โ€œThe Force Awakensโ€ didnโ€™t make it VERY clear that she was someone important. The first time I saw this movie I thoughtโ€ Reyโ€ being a โ€œPalpatineโ€ was the laziest choice they could have made but again after thinking about it more I think it actually makes the most sense under the circumstances this movie was in. It gives her some plausible reason for turning to the Darkside and actual genuine conflict. It also helps explain why she so overpowered in parts of this whole trilogy.

Moving on, I like how the lightsaber fight between โ€œReyโ€ and โ€œKyloโ€ as there are surrounded by crashing waves is like an inverse version of the fight between โ€œAnakinโ€ and โ€œObi-Wanโ€ surrounded by lava. Then โ€œLeiaโ€ dies trying to reach her son one last time. Quickly let me segway to โ€œLeiaโ€, in general, in this movie. Although they do as good as a job as they could itโ€™s very clear they worked with a very limited amount of material with Carrie Fisher before she died. You can tell the dialogue is โ€œwritten aroundโ€ this material.ย  With that said, it works well enough most of the time.ย 

Then โ€œHan Soloโ€ shows up. The scene itself is good and the callback to the โ€œI knowโ€ scene from โ€œEmpire Strikes Backโ€ is great but itโ€™s weird. I guess โ€œKyloโ€ is imagining this or โ€œLeiaโ€ put this in his head. I dunno. This convinces โ€œKyloโ€ to turn good and he throws his lightsaber away. Sure itโ€™s a symbol his evil past but itโ€™s still stupid he does this. Itโ€™s a weapon itโ€™s not evil in and of itself. Does โ€œKyloโ€ deserve redemption? Did โ€œVaderโ€? Earlier in the movie, โ€œKyloโ€ says something to โ€œReyโ€ (when he tells her sheโ€™s a โ€œPalpatineโ€) something to the extent that โ€œyou canโ€™t turn backโ€. If the main โ€œStar Warsโ€ have one unified message it would be that โ€œyou can always turn backโ€. Anyone seeking redemption can have it. It may come at a cost (and that cost may even be your life) but they can have it.

After this โ€œReyโ€ returns to โ€œAchtoโ€ to give up the whole โ€œJediโ€ thing like โ€œLukeโ€ did in โ€œThe Last Jediโ€. Part of this leads to another problem which is that spaceships now seem to be able to fast travel anywhere VERY quickly. So the first time I saw the movie I thought this scene was just a blatant โ€œfuck youโ€ to Rian Johnson. Donโ€™t get me wrong thereโ€™s a little bit of that. After watching it a second time though I see more like โ€œLukeโ€ learning from everything after dying. He WAS a coward who abandoned his friends and family and that was wrong. Rian would probably agree with that. Itโ€™s funny because many reviews of this movie unironically talk about how J.J. Abrams โ€œspit in the faceโ€ or Rianโ€™s vision. Actually, J.J. was much more respectful to Rianโ€™s vision that Rian was to J.J.โ€™s. J.J. works with the idea of โ€œForce Ghostsโ€ being able to interact with the physical world and how the physical world is affected by the bond between โ€œReyโ€ and โ€œKyloโ€. To be clear, these were terrible ideas, but they exist and J.J. didnโ€™t just ignore them and actually do some interesting things with them.ย 

This leads us to the end where everyone goes to the โ€œSithโ€ planet โ€œExegolโ€ where โ€œPalpatineโ€ now resides. Thereโ€™s a โ€œIndependence Dayโ€-style โ€œtake the big ship out and all the others will go down tooโ€ thing here. Itโ€™s a weak trope and it needs to be retired from movies. โ€œPalpatineโ€ wants โ€œReyโ€ to kill him and rule the galaxy (with the assumption that doing this would turn her to the Darkside) and of course โ€œReyโ€ resists. Then โ€œPalpatineโ€ pulls the old โ€œyour friends are going to dieโ€ thing that he did in โ€œReturn Of The Jediโ€ but โ€œReyโ€ still resists. โ€œPalpatineโ€ then has his red guards fight her. She fights them off then faces โ€œPalpatineโ€ alone until we see โ€œKyloโ€ coming to help. Before he can get to โ€œReyโ€ he has to face the โ€œKnights Of Renโ€ who he lead not long ago. Because he threw away his lightsaber โ€œKyloโ€ is taking a beating until โ€œReyโ€ senses him and uses their bond to hand him โ€œLukeโ€™sโ€ lightsaber. โ€œReyโ€ luckily also has โ€œLeiaโ€™sโ€ lightsaber which โ€œLukeโ€ gave to her on Achto. She takes out โ€œPalpatineโ€™sโ€ guards and โ€œKyloโ€ takes out the โ€œKnights Of Renโ€ and they face the Emperor together. Right after this, thereโ€™s the โ€œAvengers: Endgameโ€ moment where tons of ships from throughout galaxy show up to help the โ€œResistanceโ€. It has nowhere near the impact that โ€œEndgameโ€ had (and the logistics of how they all got gathered that fast donโ€™t work) but itโ€™s cool. โ€œPalpatineโ€ then discovers he can absorb the power of โ€œReyโ€ and โ€œKyloโ€ and because of their connection, this not only supercharges him but heals his body. He then force pushes โ€œKyloโ€ into a pit and launches some super-lightning into the sky that destroys a bunch of ships. Again, I know this type of stuff is in books and other material but I found this overpowered. โ€œReyโ€ now knocked down and beaten finally connects to all the past โ€œJediโ€ which she had been trying to do throughout the movie. We hear the voices of โ€œLukeโ€, โ€œAnakinโ€, โ€œObi-Wanโ€, โ€œYodaโ€ etc. as they encourage her to get up. She does and grabs both lightsabers to repel โ€œPalpatineโ€™sโ€ lightning back at him seemingly killing him for good. It would have been nice if there was more to killing him and it was different. This effort kills โ€œReyโ€ but โ€œKyloโ€ survived the fall from before and he climbs out of the pit and uses โ€œforce healingโ€ to save her. Then thereโ€™s what is now the infamous โ€œReyloโ€ kiss. This is the only โ€œfanserviceโ€ complaint I agree with. This wasnโ€™t necessary and it feels awkward and wrong. This kills โ€œKyloโ€ and his body vanishes telling us he went to โ€œJediโ€ heaven.ย 

We then see the โ€œResistanceโ€ celebrate and โ€œMaz Kanataโ€ gives โ€œChewieโ€ a medal. The first time I saw this I made fun of it a lot because I thought it was โ€œChewieโ€ finally getting the medal he never received in โ€œA New Hopeโ€. I thought that this was purely a fanservice detail that was forced into the movie. After watching it again, though this is certainly referencing that to some extent, itโ€™s very clear this is actually โ€œHanโ€™sโ€ medal which โ€œLeiaโ€ was holding as she died. Itโ€™s actually a nice little moment.

We then end with โ€œReyโ€ returning to โ€œLukeโ€™sโ€ original home on โ€œTatootineโ€. She then buries โ€œLukeโ€ and โ€œLeiaโ€™sโ€ lightsabers in the sand. An old woman then crosses her path and asks โ€œReyโ€ her name and she says โ€œRey Skywalkerโ€ as the โ€œforce ghostsโ€ of โ€œLukeโ€ and โ€œLeiaโ€ look on in approval. This is yet another thing I didnโ€™t like at first, but now I do. Itโ€™s not exactly the deepest or most original message but you can choose your family and choose your destiny. โ€œReyโ€ then stares off into the twin suns much like the way โ€œLukeโ€ did in โ€œA New Hopeโ€. The mainline adventures are done for us (until of course โ€œDisneyโ€ decides to make more) but her adventures are only beginning.

Clearly, thereโ€™s a lot of plot problems. Some of which are ones a lot of people canโ€™t get passed and I get that. I think everything else about the movie is done well enough that I found the movie fun and entertaining. There are several other โ€œStar Warsโ€ movies I couldnโ€™t say that about. B+. It was a rough ride but to me, this plane landed safely and I mostly like the final destination.

Ratings System:

Saved The Day (A+ to B+)

Stopped The Threat (B to B-)

Minimized The Damage (C+ to C)

Lost The Battle (C- & Below)ย 

Outcome: Saved The Day

๐˜๐˜ด ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ˆ ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜š๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ?: ส€แด‡แด ษชแด‡แดก๊œฑ แด๊œฐ แด€แด„แด›ษชแดษด & ๊œฑแดœแด˜แด‡ส€สœแด‡ส€แด ส€แด‡สŸแด‡แด€๊œฑแด‡๊œฑ – Joker

๐˜๐˜ด ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ˆ ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜š๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ?:

ส€แด‡แด ษชแด‡แดก๊œฑ แด๊œฐ แด€แด„แด›ษชแดษด & ๊œฑแดœแด˜แด‡ส€สœแด‡ส€แด ส€แด‡สŸแด‡แด€๊œฑแด‡๊œฑ

 

I know this is super late. I wrote this a while ago, but got busy and lost interest. With all the awards talk though I figured I’d put this out now though. Anyway…

Joker

Iโ€™ll throw all my biases on the table:

  • Iโ€™m against โ€œThe Jokerโ€ having an origin at all.ย 
  • I think Heath Ledgerโ€™s โ€œJokerโ€ from โ€œThe Dark Knightโ€ is the definitive version of โ€œThe Jokerโ€.ย 
  • I think โ€œThe Dark Knightโ€ is still the best comic book movie ever made.ย 
  • Iโ€™m more about the characters and the story than the โ€œstyleโ€ elements of a movie. Every part of a movie is important but the characters and the story are the most important parts to me. A characterโ€™s struggle (and finding it relatable) is what I pinpoint at the single most important element of a story to me.ย 

Weโ€™ll start with whatโ€™s good. The directing, cinematography, and Joaquin Phoenixโ€™s performance are all excellent. Thatโ€™s pretty much it for the good though. The story is okay at best and as far as the characters most of them are one-dimensional. It also needs to be stated that the tone and style of the movie are heavily lifted from โ€œTaxi Driverโ€. In addition, the main plot of the story is lifted from โ€œThe King Of Comedyโ€. Both of these movies have better and more proactive protagonists and these two movies do what โ€œJokerโ€ in general is trying to do significantly better..

Ideally, what should a Joker movie do? I think the movie would have to show why a person would become the murderous clown he becomes while at the same time showing why that decision is wrong. To see each step and to see how โ€œThe Jokerโ€ keeps making the wrong choice. Itโ€™s a hard needle to thread, especially without becoming preachy.ย 

In โ€œThe Dark Knightโ€ that version of โ€œThe Jokerโ€ gives several possible origins for himself. Every one of those versions is better than the one in this movie because all of them make you go โ€œthatโ€™s fucked upโ€. โ€œThe Jokerโ€™sโ€ origin in this movie makes you shrug and go โ€œI guess that makes senseโ€. It adds up, but it doesnโ€™t quite add up to the โ€œreal Jokerโ€. This is โ€œA versionโ€ of โ€œThe Jokerโ€. An alternate take, Iโ€™d say, but itโ€™s not โ€œTHE Jokerโ€ that we see in comics, cartoons, and TV shows.ย 

In this film the โ€œJokerโ€ doesnโ€™t laugh because he finds murder and torture funny but because he has a brain injury that makes him randomly laugh. The traditional โ€œJokerโ€ is crazy because he kills people. This โ€œJokerโ€ is mentally ill. He has mental illnesses. Heโ€™s delusional. All this gives โ€œThe Jokerโ€ an excuse. I believe the โ€œrealโ€ โ€œJokerโ€ is absolutely conscious of what heโ€™s doing. This โ€œJokerโ€ is petty. He kills people because he feels like they wronged him with maybe a couple of exceptions. The โ€œreal โ€œJokerโ€ would kill you in if you get this way but mainly kills randomly and indiscriminately. Thereโ€™s an episode of โ€œBatman: The Animated Seriesโ€ that illustrates this. My memory of it is fuzzy but some guy actually fucks with โ€œThe Jokerโ€ deliberately on purpose not know knowing itโ€™s him. I think he cuts them off in traffic or something like that. โ€œThe Jokerโ€ lets that guy go but tell him he owes him a favor. This, of course, is a fate that is probably worse than death because for the rest of this guyโ€™s life he knows that โ€œThe Jokerโ€ is going to cash in that favor and heโ€™s going to have to do some horrible thing that ends up murdering people or something. Thatโ€™s what the โ€œreal Jokerโ€ does: weird, torturous shit.

Though this is not a โ€œDCEUโ€ movie, it has one trait in common with many of them. That common trait is having one-dimensional bully characters that are only there so the protagonist can get some vindictive revenge against them. โ€œMan Of Steelโ€, โ€œAquamanโ€, and โ€œShazamโ€ all have these characters. Itโ€™s always lame, itโ€™s always stupid, and especially with the hero characters, it makes them look petty, small and kind of pathetic. If you donโ€™t have the self-control to not beat on some asshole who has no power over you, how could you be expected to have self-control over godlike power and not use it abusively? At the end of the day, itโ€™s just a lazy straw man to give โ€œArthur Fleckโ€ (our pre-โ€Jokerโ€ protagonist) another excuse to become โ€œThe Jokerโ€.ย 

In this movie, almost every character is about as big an asshole as you can possibly be at all times. Iโ€™m not some happy-go-lucky โ€œeveryone is good on the insideโ€ type. Iโ€™d even go as far as to say a good amount of people are pretty terrible. They arenโ€™t THIS terrible though in the sense that at least they generally arenโ€™t THIS openly hostile and hide their awfulness. Weโ€™re told over and over again everyone is SO mean to poor โ€˜โ€œArthurโ€. Some mean woman on a bus scolds him just for entertaining her kid by making faces at him. His therapist doesnโ€™t listen to him or care. Some mean guys who work for โ€œThomas Wayneโ€ mess with some poor lady and beat up โ€œArthurโ€ because he laughs uncontrollably at that moment. He then murders these men. The first two are clearly self-defense and the third guy he shoots in the ass but he attempts to get away. The man hit him unprovoked and got wounded it for it. โ€œEye for an eyeโ€. He got what he deserved, right? Not for โ€œArthurโ€. He goes well out of his way to murder this man. Unloading all his remaining bullets into him. Interesting that โ€œArthurโ€ shows none of the mercy he asks others to show him. Well, โ€œArthurโ€ is a cold-blooded murderer now so his transformation into the โ€œJokerโ€ is mostly completeโ€ฆ The only problem is this is at a point that is less than one-third of the way through the movie. Guess the movie is going to need some paddingโ€ฆ

This leads to one part of the movie that I just straight-up found annoying. That is everything involving the โ€œWayneโ€ family. I hate it. I hate all of it. I donโ€™t want any insinuation that โ€œThe Jokerโ€ and โ€œBatmanโ€ are brothers. Itโ€™s lame, itโ€™s dumb, and it makes both characters worse. This also takes up a decent chunk of a plot. Just to be consistent โ€œThomas Waynesโ€ punches โ€œArthurโ€ in the face after revealing that is not his father (or is he?). This leads to another part of the movie thatโ€™s also annoying. That part is the โ€œrich people = badโ€ part. This is not the only movie guilty of this ( โ€œThe Last Jediโ€ being a good example) but itโ€™s still annoying. If you conclude that this is true, itโ€™s overly simplistic and unhelpful. Thereโ€™s some effort to address the cutting of social services, but itโ€™s hard to take seriously in any way from all the rich people involved in making this movie thatโ€™s made by a super-rich company that is only making this movie to make more money. Again this movie is not the only one thatโ€™s guilty but still…

The people in this movie are so alien to the real world that you canโ€™t relate to it and therefore you canโ€™t relate to โ€œThe Jokerโ€. โ€œThe Jokerโ€ literally says he hasnโ€™t had a happy moment his entire life. Even if that were possible and I think the movie itself shows that isnโ€™t even true, itโ€™s not relatable. No matter how shitty your life is, thereโ€™s some happiness in it. Also looking at โ€œThe Jokerโ€™sโ€ life is it THAT bad? Heโ€™s not a guy breaking bricks for a living. Heโ€™s a clown. A job he seems to enjoy.ย 

Letโ€™s start with his job. The first major thing that happens in the movie is โ€œArthurโ€ as part of some โ€œclown unionโ€ (seriously what is this supposed to be?) has a gig dancing around with a โ€œgoing out a businessโ€ sign. Some kids then steal the sign from him. This sign is completely worthless and he should just report to his โ€œclown unionโ€ boss or whatever but instead, he chases after the kids. He catches up to them and they beat his ass. Then in a completely unrealistic fashion, this โ€œclown unionโ€ boss accuses him of stealing this worthless sign and says heโ€™ll dock his pay for it. Some guy on the job gives โ€œArthurโ€ a gun to protect himself shortly after this. This is a setup to have a reason to murder this guy later. This is also the most brutal murder and the only one where he doesnโ€™t simply shoot them. Him being more proactive getting his own gun like โ€œTravisโ€ in โ€œTaxi Driverโ€ would have made this more interesting. Weโ€™d see clearly he learned the wrong lesson here. He should have learned to let things go, especially when they donโ€™t matter but what heโ€™d learn instead is that he need to take matters into his own hands with a weapon. This eventually leads to him losing his job…

โ€œArthurโ€ loses his job because he brought a gun into a hospital while heโ€™s performing in front of children. The world didnโ€™t do this to him. He was stupid and irresponsible. Iโ€™m already pretty much done with sympathizing with him at this point. He has a mother that loves him; an apartment in 1970โ€™s New York; and heโ€™s a normal-looking guy. Yes, he has mental illnesses, he laughs randomly, and we learn he was abused as a child but there are people with mental illness that have it a lot worse than this guy.

The part of โ€œThe Jokerโ€ that we probably can relate to is being awkward. Everyone feels awkward sometimes. The problem is, โ€œThe Jokerโ€™sโ€ the type of asshole who sets himself up for failure and then gets mad at the world when they fail. He has the aforementioned brain injury that makes it so he laughs uncontrollably at random times. Logically you would think pretty much any career involving a lot of talking in the public isnโ€™t ever going to work. To say the least thereโ€™s no way he can be a successful stand-up comedian, especially after one attempt. Itโ€™s ludicrous. I guess you can argue โ€œThe Jokerโ€ in this movie is delusional and kind of dumb. We see that โ€œThe Jokerโ€ is clearly delusional from the part of the movie where heโ€™s imagining that heโ€™s dating โ€œDominoโ€. This part was spoiled for me in a review of the movie. I think it was pulled off fairly convincingly though. I just donโ€™t really see the point of it except to show that โ€œThe Jokerโ€™sโ€ delusional. Thereโ€™s also a part where you can see his writing and it seems like he can barely read showing heโ€™s pretty dumb. This is a weird edition to the character because I think if anything the โ€œreal Jokerโ€ is at least kind of smart. The guy makes elaborate death traps and is supposed to have the wits to charm his psychiatrist into dropping everything to be his abused girlfriend and partner in crime. I find his level of stupidity varies to be convenient for the plot. Towards the end of the movie, he makes a speech that someone this โ€œout of itโ€ wouldnโ€™t be able to make. I guess there are people like this but I think it makes for a less interesting protagonist.

Letโ€™s now get into the controversy. On one hand, I donโ€™t believe it was ever fair to blame media for real-life violence. This is a cheap, lazy deflection to avoid talking about real problems such as the need for gun control. On the other hand, I also believe media companies should so show some responsibility in the messages they create. Thereโ€™s a part near the end where โ€œThe Jokerโ€ is celebrated by a bunch of people with clown masks because his actions are seen by these people as striking back at the rich. What is this telling us? It is at least on some level saying that this violence is good or at least some people would see it as good. The only counter-argument comes from the host of the show โ€œArthurโ€ is on then he is framed as โ€œone of the bad peopleโ€. Heโ€™s framed as a bad person because while not knowing he was mentally ill he made fun of โ€œArthurโ€™sโ€ (somehow recorded in the 70โ€™s?) attempt at standup comedy. It can be argued that the real counterargument is murder is inherently wrong but in todayโ€™s climate and because people are fucking stupid that might not be enough. What is the overall message of this movie? I donโ€™t know. Crazy people are going to crazy? That we should just get rid of mentally ill people because someday theyโ€™re not going to get their medication and murder people? Those are definitely messages you could get from this movie. Itโ€™s also heavily implied that he murders โ€œDominoโ€ after the audience learns that โ€œArthurโ€™sโ€ โ€œdatesโ€ with her were figments of his imagination. Both โ€œTaxi Driverโ€ and โ€œThe King Of Comedyโ€ deal with delusional protagonists and do so without spoon-feeding you what actually happened and what didnโ€™t. I think that ambiguity makes them better films for it. Everyone else the โ€œJokerโ€ kills in this movie wronged him. How did she? By not being the girlfriend he feels entitled to? This gives credence to the โ€œincelโ€ comments about this movie. Maybe he walked into her apartment unannounced, startled her when she discovered him, and left without incident. I find that highly doubtful though…

A โ€œJokerโ€ movie probably should be unsettling, even unpleasant but all movies should be fun in some aspects, shouldnโ€™t they? Iโ€™d say this movie is worth seeing. I guess Iโ€™d give it a B- for trying something different with a comic book movie but add a huge asterisk for taking so much from other better movies. So did this movie save the day? It stopped the treat I guess. Who would expect โ€œThe Jokerโ€ to save anyone anyway?

Ratings System:

Saved The Day (A+ to B+)

Stopped The Threat (B to B-)

Minimized The Damage (C+ to C)

Lost The Battle (C- & Below)ย 

Outcome: Stopped The Threat

 

 

แ—ฉ แ—ชEแ‘•Eแ—ฐแ—ทEแ–‡ TO โ–‘Dโ–‘Iโ–‘Sโ–‘Mโ–‘Eโ–‘Mโ–‘Bโ–‘Eโ–‘Rโ–‘ 31

แ—ฉ แ—ชEแ‘•Eแ—ฐแ—ทEแ–‡ TO โ–‘Dโ–‘Iโ–‘Sโ–‘Mโ–‘Eโ–‘Mโ–‘Bโ–‘Eโ–‘Rโ–‘ 31

 

cccdec2dis-31

Happy New Years Eve Everyone! I hope everyone had happy holidays! Thanks to all of you who have been checking this out!ย 

Anyway, since the Inktober from three years ago, Iโ€™ve been taking prompts from these types of drawing challenges and weaving them into stories. For this one my versions of characters from โ€œ๐•ญ๐–š๐–‹๐–‹๐–ž ๐•ฟ๐–๐–Š ๐–๐–†๐–’๐–•๐–Ž๐–—๐–Š ๐•พ๐–‘๐–†๐–ž๐–Š๐–—โ€, โ€œแด…ส€แด€ษขแดษด ส™แด€สŸสŸโ€ (โ€œGokuโ€), โ€œ๐•Š๐•ก๐•š๐••๐•–๐•ฃ-๐•„๐•’๐•Ÿโ€ (โ€œSpider-Gwen/ โ€œGhost Spiderโ€), โ€œ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ซ-๐— ๐—ฒ๐—ปโ€ (โ€œIce-Manโ€ and โ€œNightcrawlerโ€), โ€œ๐™๐™๐™š ๐˜ผ๐™ซ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™š๐™ง๐™จโ€ (โ€œThorโ€), โ€œ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜™๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ดโ€ ( โ€œSister Grimmโ€), โ€œแด›สœแด‡ แดŠแดœ๊œฑแด›ษชแด„แด‡ สŸแด‡แด€ษขแดœแด‡โ€ (โ€œBatmanโ€, โ€œThe Flashโ€, โ€œAquamanโ€, & โ€œGreen Arrowโ€), โ€œ๊œฐษชษดแด€สŸ ๊œฐแด€ษดแด›แด€๊œฑส แด ษชษชโ€ (โ€œCloudโ€), and โ€œ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘ณ๐’†๐’ˆ๐’†๐’๐’… ๐‘ถ๐’‡ ๐’๐’†๐’๐’…๐’‚โ€ (a female version of โ€œLinkโ€) search for two of the โ€œMultiversal Stonesโ€( the โ€œInfinity Stonesโ€ on steriods that affect the entire multiverse), the โ€œKnowledgeโ€ and the โ€œExistence Stonesโ€ specifically to find knowledge or to bring people back to life respectively. Meanwhile, others including The Good Knight Who Jests (โ€œThe Batman Who Laughsโ€) are also in search of these stones to use them for destructive purposes.

This is a story about being careful about the knowledge you seek and the things you wish for. A story about receiving what you need instead of what you want. A story about deciding when losses need to be cut and when to keep fighting. A story about appreciating things while you have them. Some memories need to be kept and remembered forever, others need to be forgotten, the remaining need to be more than forgotten. They need to be discarded and dismemberedโ€ฆ

 

12/31/2019
@monicamarinhoart #dELFcember Dance ๐Ÿ’ƒ