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10-30-19 Excalibur #1
Excalibur #1
ย Iโve said this before but it needs reiterating โApocalypseโ is a genocidal madman. He is not a freedom fighter for mutants who is overly aggressive. Heโs not someone who is merely for mutant supremacy. In fact, I would contend that โApocalypseโ doesnโt care about mutants at all. Heโs completely agnostic about it. He is about who is strongest and that is it. Thatโs why โThe Hulkโ was one of his horsemen once. Not a mutant. Just one of the strongest. As weโve seen in the โAge of Apocalypseโ where โApocalypseโ ruled America if he had his way, heโd commit genocide on humans. He would put them in pens and systematically cull them. โCullโ being a nice word for murder here. So having โApocalypseโ as a member of an โX-teamโ is nothing less than insanity. Itโs sick, and itโs obscene, but more importantly itโs stupid.
With that out of the way, the main thing that can be said about this comic is that itโs boring. Thereโs boring stuff with โMorgan Le Fayโ. Boring stuff with โCaptain Britainโ and โPsylockeโโฆ I mean โElizabeth Braddockโ. โPsylockeโ is now the Asian woman that โElizabeth Braddockโ switched bodies with. Ya know the cool ninja โPsylockeโ that we actually like. This comic is so boring and the storytelling is so poor that I imagine the pitch for it went something like thisโฆ
Editor: Hey you!
Writer: Were you talking to me?
Editor: Yeah, whatever. Youโre writing โExcaliburโ now
Writer: What?
Editor: Youโre writing โExcaliburโ and โApocalypseโ is on the team.
Writer: Wait, what are you talking about?
Editor: Also the boring British version of โPsylockeโ is the leader and sheโs โCaptain Britainโ now.
Writer: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is going on here?!
Editor: You got a week to write it!
Writer: Iโm going to need months to even attempt to think about how to make any of this make any sense!
Editor: Actually the scheduleโs been bumped up you. You got three days! Also, do some โPrince symbol thingโ with โApocalypseโ. I like Prince and I like genocidal madmen.
From here Iโll just give random bullet points from the plot because itโs too boring to go into.
- Thereโs a gate to โOtherworld/Camelotโ (where โMorgan Le Fayโ lives) that is blocked off in โKrakoaโ. I think โApocalypseโ planted โKrakoaโsโ magic fast travel flowers there and โMorgan Le Fayโ is pissy about it.
- Thereโs some stuff with a coven in England that โMorgan Le Fayโ threatens.
- โJamie Braddockโ is brought back to life on โKrakoaโ. I donโt know much about him but heโs a villain and heโs a dick.
- โCaptain Britainโ is called to โOtherworldโ to deal with the โMorgan Le Fayโ thing and โBetsyโ come with him. She changes into her costume with โKrakoan costume technologyโ. Wow, it there anything that the writers canโt use โKrokoaโ to lazily explain?
- The โX-menโ learn โBetsyโ is in โOtherworldโ and want to get her back. For some reason โRogueโ is asked by โApocalypseโ to โabsorbโ the gate. I have no fucking clue what the fuck this was supposed to do.
- โCaptain Britainโ and โBetsyโ fight โMorgan Le Fayโ and her minions and โCaptain Britainโ is taken under โMorgan Le Fayeโsโ spell. โBetsyโ throws some โpsychic swordโ at the gate to โKrakoaโ and that shatters it trapping her there supposedly.
- On the other side in โKrakoaโ some kind of plant gets through the gate and it freezes โRogueโ.
- โBetsyโ grabs โCaptain Britainโsโ amulet and becomes the new โCaptain Britainโ. This allows her to leave โOtherworldโ.
- The main lady from the coven from before kills the other members of her coven and joins another coven.
This comic is the worst kind of bad. Itโs not even โfun badโ. Itโs just bland and hard to get through. Also, the art is nothing special. Fine, is about the most I can say about it. This is a really low C-.
Recommendation: One Of The Lesser Books You Can Buy
