𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕙 ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕔𝕤 𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕤 𝕐𝕠𝕦 ℂ𝕒𝕟 𝔹𝕦𝕪?:

ɴᴇᴡ ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀʜᴇʀᴏ ᴄᴏᴍɪᴄ ʙᴏᴏᴋ & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄ ɴᴏᴠᴇʟ ʀᴀᴛɪɴɢꜱ & ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡꜱ

[ 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚕 / 𝙳𝙲 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚌𝚜 / 𝙸𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚎 / 𝙸𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚎 ]

11-06-19 New Mutants #1

I’m pretty behind on these reviews. One benefit to this though is that I’ve read ahead and see how connected books like the “X-titles” affect each other. This series, for instance, seems to exist only to explain a minor plot point in “X-men” #2. That plot point is why “Doug Ramsey” (who can translate anything) isn’t around to help translate something. There’s several better ways to explain this, but why not milk the audience for a few more bucks?

We start this one off with the soulless cloning… I mean “resurrecting” of “Wolfsbane” (who got murked in the storyline right before “House/ Powers Of X”). We get what is now a customary cringey scene of out-of-character “Storm” talking like a cult leader to “Wolfsbane” as she’s freshly resurrected and naked and gooey. She’s then chilling in “Krakoa” and it’s painted out to be like heaven or something.

You know deleted scenes in a movie where you watch them and go “oh yeah good thing they cut that out”! That’s about a third of the comic from there. There’s a part where “Krakoa” speaks through “Mondo” and it disturbs both of them. From there characters from “New Mutants” and “Generation X” do stuff. Not interesting stuff or stuff of any importance. Just stuff. There’s some unfunny jokes and some “anti-human” talk sprinkled in because what’s an “X-title” under this status quo without the equivalent of casual racism thrown in? Then some of them remember “Cannonball” is in space visiting his family… Wait what? I thought his family were a bunch of hillbillies! What the fuck are they doing in space?! Think this comic is going take the effort to explain that? Haha! Of course not.

So they use the fast travel plant that “Corsair” was given in “X-men #1” to go to “Corsair’s” ship. The fast travel plant is fucking with the plants one the Starjammers, “Ch’od” is growing so “Doug” sticks the teleporting plant inside “Mondo” and this solves the problem.

While traveling through space “Magik” beats the “Starjammer”,”Raza” in a sword fight that the others bet on. The “Starjammers” then go to a space station called “Benevolence”. “Corsair” lies about the place to the “New Mutants” in about as heavy-handed a way as possible with something about a super repressive religion and tells them to stay on the ship. Immediately all the “New Mutants” want to leave the ship except “Roberto” and they ditch his ass to leave the ship when he goes to get booze. “Magik” teleports them to the space station and as they run into “The Starjammers” it’s quickly revealed that this was really about them stealing this egg thing from the “Shi’ar”. A bunch of “Shi’ar” soldiers soon come and pin the “New Mutants” down and then “The Starjammers” just leave them hanging. That’s next level dickishness, but it gets worse. “The Starjammers” return to their ship and “Roberto” learns the rest of his team are getting left behind. Naturally “Roberto” is like “what the fuck, man”?! Then “The Starjammers” give their petty bullshit reasons for leaving a bunch of kids to death or imprisonment in space jail and kick “Roberto” out for questioning it. Unbelievable dickishness. We then end with the “New Mutants” captured and there’s mention of a “space lawyer” that I guess we’ll see next issue.

So a lot of straight up wasted pages and kind a stupid pointless plot that makes “The Starjammers” look like assholes. I’ll give the writers the benefit of the doubt on this and go with either they’ll have a change of heart or this is some part of a bigger plan “Corsair” has. The painted art is nice though. C.

Reccommendation: One Of The Lesser Books You Can Buy