π•Žπ•™π•šπ•”π•™ β„‚π• π•žπ•šπ•”π•€ 𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕀π•₯ π”Ήπ• π• π•œπ•€ 𝕐𝕠𝕦 β„‚π•’π•Ÿ 𝔹𝕦π•ͺ?: ɴᴇᴑ κœ±α΄œα΄˜α΄‡Κ€Κœα΄‡Κ€α΄ ᴄᴏᴍΙͺα΄„ ʙᴏᴏᴋ & Ι’Κ€α΄€α΄˜ΚœΙͺα΄„ Ι΄α΄α΄ α΄‡ΚŸ Κ€α΄€α΄›Ιͺɴɒꜱ & ʀᴇᴠΙͺα΄‡α΄‘κœ± [ π™ΌπšŠπš›πšŸπšŽπš• / 𝙳𝙲 π™²πš˜πš–πš’πšŒπšœ / π™Έπš–πšŠπšπšŽ / π™Έπš—πšπš’πšŽ ] 10-30-19 Excalibur #1

π•Žπ•™π•šπ•”π•™ β„‚π• π•žπ•šπ•”π•€ 𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕀π•₯ π”Ήπ• π• π•œπ•€ 𝕐𝕠𝕦 β„‚π•’π•Ÿ 𝔹𝕦π•ͺ?:

ɴᴇᴑ κœ±α΄œα΄˜α΄‡Κ€Κœα΄‡Κ€α΄ ᴄᴏᴍΙͺα΄„ ʙᴏᴏᴋ & Ι’Κ€α΄€α΄˜ΚœΙͺα΄„ Ι΄α΄α΄ α΄‡ΚŸ Κ€α΄€α΄›Ιͺɴɒꜱ & ʀᴇᴠΙͺα΄‡α΄‘κœ±

[ π™ΌπšŠπš›πšŸπšŽπš• / 𝙳𝙲 π™²πš˜πš–πš’πšŒπšœ / π™Έπš–πšŠπšπšŽ / π™Έπš—πšπš’πšŽ ]

10-30-19 Excalibur #1

 

Excalibur #1

Β I’ve said this before but it needs reiterating β€œApocalypse” is a genocidal madman. He is not a freedom fighter for mutants who is overly aggressive. He’s not someone who is merely for mutant supremacy. In fact, I would contend that β€œApocalypse” doesn’t care about mutants at all. He’s completely agnostic about it. He is about who is strongest and that is it. That’s why β€œThe Hulk” was one of his horsemen once. Not a mutant. Just one of the strongest. As we’ve seen in the β€œAge of Apocalypse” where β€œApocalypse” ruled America if he had his way, he’d commit genocide on humans. He would put them in pens and systematically cull them. β€œCull” being a nice word for murder here. So having β€œApocalypse” as a member of an β€œX-team” is nothing less than insanity. It’s sick, and it’s obscene, but more importantly it’s stupid.

With that out of the way, the main thing that can be said about this comic is that it’s boring. There’s boring stuff with β€œMorgan Le Fay”. Boring stuff with β€œCaptain Britain” and β€œPsylocke”… I mean β€œElizabeth Braddock”. β€œPsylocke” is now the Asian woman that β€œElizabeth Braddock” switched bodies with. Ya know the cool ninja β€œPsylocke” that we actually like. This comic is so boring and the storytelling is so poor that I imagine the pitch for it went something like this…

Editor: Hey you!

Writer: Were you talking to me?

Editor: Yeah, whatever. You’re writing β€œExcalibur” now

Writer: What?

Editor: You’re writing β€œExcalibur” and β€œApocalypse” is on the team.

Writer: Wait, what are you talking about?

Editor: Also the boring British version of β€œPsylocke” is the leader and she’s β€œCaptain Britain” now.

Writer: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is going on here?!

Editor: You got a week to write it!

Writer: I’m going to need months to even attempt to think about how to make any of this make any sense!

Editor: Actually the schedule’s been bumped up you. You got three days! Also, do some β€œPrince symbol thing” with β€œApocalypse”. I like Prince and I like genocidal madmen.

From here I’ll just give random bullet points from the plot because it’s too boring to go into.

  • There’s a gate to β€œOtherworld/Camelot” (where β€œMorgan Le Fay” lives) that is blocked off in β€œKrakoa”. I think β€œApocalypse” planted β€œKrakoa’s” magic fast travel flowers there and β€œMorgan Le Fay” is pissy about it.
  • There’s some stuff with a coven in England that β€œMorgan Le Fay” threatens.
  • β€œJamie Braddock” is brought back to life on β€œKrakoa”. I don’t know much about him but he’s a villain and he’s a dick.
  • β€œCaptain Britain” is called to β€œOtherworld” to deal with the β€œMorgan Le Fay” thing and β€œBetsy” come with him. She changes into her costume with β€œKrakoan costume technology”. Wow, it there anything that the writers can’t use β€œKrokoa” to lazily explain?
  • The β€œX-men” learn β€œBetsy” is in β€œOtherworld” and want to get her back. For some reason β€œRogue” is asked by β€œApocalypse” to β€œabsorb” the gate. I have no fucking clue what the fuck this was supposed to do.
  • β€œCaptain Britain” and β€œBetsy” fight β€œMorgan Le Fay” and her minions and β€œCaptain Britain” is taken under β€œMorgan Le Faye’s” spell. β€œBetsy” throws some β€œpsychic sword” at the gate to β€œKrakoa” and that shatters it trapping her there supposedly.
  • On the other side in β€œKrakoa” some kind of plant gets through the gate and it freezes β€œRogue”.
  • β€œBetsy” grabs β€œCaptain Britain’s” amulet and becomes the new β€œCaptain Britain”. This allows her to leave β€œOtherworld”.
  • The main lady from the coven from before kills the other members of her coven and joins another coven.

This comic is the worst kind of bad. It’s not even β€œfun bad”. It’s just bland and hard to get through. Also, the art is nothing special. Fine, is about the most I can say about it. This is a really low C-.

Recommendation: One Of The Lesser Books You Can Buy

 

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