๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?: ษดแด‡แดก ๊œฑแดœแด˜แด‡ส€สœแด‡ส€แด แด„แดแดษชแด„ ส™แดแดแด‹ & ษขส€แด€แด˜สœษชแด„ ษดแดแด แด‡สŸ ส€แด€แด›ษชษดษข๊œฑ & ส€แด‡แด ษชแด‡แดก๊œฑ [ ๐™ผ๐šŠ๐š›๐šŸ๐šŽ๐š• / ๐™ณ๐™ฒ ๐™ฒ๐š˜๐š–๐š’๐šŒ๐šœ / ๐™ธ๐š–๐šŠ๐š๐šŽ / ๐™ธ๐š—๐š๐š’๐šŽ ] 10-30-19 Excalibur #1

๐•Ž๐•™๐•š๐•”๐•™ โ„‚๐• ๐•ž๐•š๐•”๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”น๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ โ„‚๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”น๐•ฆ๐•ช?:

ษดแด‡แดก ๊œฑแดœแด˜แด‡ส€สœแด‡ส€แด แด„แดแดษชแด„ ส™แดแดแด‹ & ษขส€แด€แด˜สœษชแด„ ษดแดแด แด‡สŸ ส€แด€แด›ษชษดษข๊œฑ & ส€แด‡แด ษชแด‡แดก๊œฑ

[ ๐™ผ๐šŠ๐š›๐šŸ๐šŽ๐š• / ๐™ณ๐™ฒ ๐™ฒ๐š˜๐š–๐š’๐šŒ๐šœ / ๐™ธ๐š–๐šŠ๐š๐šŽ / ๐™ธ๐š—๐š๐š’๐šŽ ]

10-30-19 Excalibur #1

 

Excalibur #1

ย Iโ€™ve said this before but it needs reiterating โ€œApocalypseโ€ is a genocidal madman. He is not a freedom fighter for mutants who is overly aggressive. Heโ€™s not someone who is merely for mutant supremacy. In fact, I would contend that โ€œApocalypseโ€ doesnโ€™t care about mutants at all. Heโ€™s completely agnostic about it. He is about who is strongest and that is it. Thatโ€™s why โ€œThe Hulkโ€ was one of his horsemen once. Not a mutant. Just one of the strongest. As weโ€™ve seen in the โ€œAge of Apocalypseโ€ where โ€œApocalypseโ€ ruled America if he had his way, heโ€™d commit genocide on humans. He would put them in pens and systematically cull them. โ€œCullโ€ being a nice word for murder here. So having โ€œApocalypseโ€ as a member of an โ€œX-teamโ€ is nothing less than insanity. Itโ€™s sick, and itโ€™s obscene, but more importantly itโ€™s stupid.

With that out of the way, the main thing that can be said about this comic is that itโ€™s boring. Thereโ€™s boring stuff with โ€œMorgan Le Fayโ€. Boring stuff with โ€œCaptain Britainโ€ and โ€œPsylockeโ€โ€ฆ I mean โ€œElizabeth Braddockโ€. โ€œPsylockeโ€ is now the Asian woman that โ€œElizabeth Braddockโ€ switched bodies with. Ya know the cool ninja โ€œPsylockeโ€ that we actually like. This comic is so boring and the storytelling is so poor that I imagine the pitch for it went something like thisโ€ฆ

Editor: Hey you!

Writer: Were you talking to me?

Editor: Yeah, whatever. Youโ€™re writing โ€œExcaliburโ€ now

Writer: What?

Editor: Youโ€™re writing โ€œExcaliburโ€ and โ€œApocalypseโ€ is on the team.

Writer: Wait, what are you talking about?

Editor: Also the boring British version of โ€œPsylockeโ€ is the leader and sheโ€™s โ€œCaptain Britainโ€ now.

Writer: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is going on here?!

Editor: You got a week to write it!

Writer: Iโ€™m going to need months to even attempt to think about how to make any of this make any sense!

Editor: Actually the scheduleโ€™s been bumped up you. You got three days! Also, do some โ€œPrince symbol thingโ€ with โ€œApocalypseโ€. I like Prince and I like genocidal madmen.

From here Iโ€™ll just give random bullet points from the plot because itโ€™s too boring to go into.

  • Thereโ€™s a gate to โ€œOtherworld/Camelotโ€ (where โ€œMorgan Le Fayโ€ lives) that is blocked off in โ€œKrakoaโ€. I think โ€œApocalypseโ€ planted โ€œKrakoaโ€™sโ€ magic fast travel flowers there and โ€œMorgan Le Fayโ€ is pissy about it.
  • Thereโ€™s some stuff with a coven in England that โ€œMorgan Le Fayโ€ threatens.
  • โ€œJamie Braddockโ€ is brought back to life on โ€œKrakoaโ€. I donโ€™t know much about him but heโ€™s a villain and heโ€™s a dick.
  • โ€œCaptain Britainโ€ is called to โ€œOtherworldโ€ to deal with the โ€œMorgan Le Fayโ€ thing and โ€œBetsyโ€ come with him. She changes into her costume with โ€œKrakoan costume technologyโ€. Wow, it there anything that the writers canโ€™t use โ€œKrokoaโ€ to lazily explain?
  • The โ€œX-menโ€ learn โ€œBetsyโ€ is in โ€œOtherworldโ€ and want to get her back. For some reason โ€œRogueโ€ is asked by โ€œApocalypseโ€ to โ€œabsorbโ€ the gate. I have no fucking clue what the fuck this was supposed to do.
  • โ€œCaptain Britainโ€ and โ€œBetsyโ€ fight โ€œMorgan Le Fayโ€ and her minions and โ€œCaptain Britainโ€ is taken under โ€œMorgan Le Fayeโ€™sโ€ spell. โ€œBetsyโ€ throws some โ€œpsychic swordโ€ at the gate to โ€œKrakoaโ€ and that shatters it trapping her there supposedly.
  • On the other side in โ€œKrakoaโ€ some kind of plant gets through the gate and it freezes โ€œRogueโ€.
  • โ€œBetsyโ€ grabs โ€œCaptain Britainโ€™sโ€ amulet and becomes the new โ€œCaptain Britainโ€. This allows her to leave โ€œOtherworldโ€.
  • The main lady from the coven from before kills the other members of her coven and joins another coven.

This comic is the worst kind of bad. Itโ€™s not even โ€œfun badโ€. Itโ€™s just bland and hard to get through. Also, the art is nothing special. Fine, is about the most I can say about it. This is a really low C-.

Recommendation: One Of The Lesser Books You Can Buy

 

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