Which Comics Are The Best Books You Can Buy?: New Superhero Comic Book & Graphic Novel Ratings & Reviews [ Marvel / DC Comics / Image / Indie ] 09-18-19 Absolute Carnage #3

Which Comics Are The Best Books You Can Buy?:

New Superhero Comic Book & Graphic Novel

Ratings & Reviews [ Marvel / DC Comics / Image / Indie ] 

09-18-19 Absolute Carnage #3

 

 Absolute Carnage #3

Maybe I missed something that happened in the “Venom” comic (which I’m not reading), but in the last issue of this comic “Venom” left “Miles” to get a beat down and get taken over by “Carnage” while he bailed with “The Scorpion”. Now though, he’s back with “Norman Osborn-Carnage” and “Carnage-Miles” or whatever. After a bunch of loser-monologuing about regretting that he lost “Miles” and generally losing to “Carnage” because he’s a loser, “Venom” says something about “Norman’s” grandson “Normie” that makes “Norman-Carnage” lower his guard. Against “Eddie’s” wishes the “Venom” symbiote takes this opportunity to stab him in the heart. The “Venom” symbiote wants to take the codex that “Norman” has but at this moment “The Scorpion” is getting stomped by “Carnage’s” minions and “Eddie” choose to save him instead. This, of course, makes “Venom” lose the opportunity to get “Norman’s” codex and his symbiote heals him.

“Venom” bails with “Scorpion” and takes him to “The Maker’s” hideout. “The Maker” isn’t there, but gets greeted by “Spider-Man”, “Captain America”, “The Thing”, “Wolverine” and “Bruce Banner” when he gets there. After talking to them a bit “Eddie” hugs his son and then there’s something about a black cat with green stripes that happened in a “Venom” comic. Everyone except “Banner” is there to use “The Maker’s” machine to safely extract the “codex” from them and “Spider-Man” says he’ll go last because he feels responsible for bringing the symbiotes to Earth. This doesn’t even begin to make sense. If you caused the problem (the “Venom” symbiote tells “Eddie” and us he didn’t and symbiotes have been on Earth since the Dark Ages and “Eddie” chooses to be a dick and not let “Spider-Man” know this) then hurry and get the codex out.  

Anyway, the rest of them go in the machine. “Spider-Man” then talks to “Venom” and it’s basically like. “Are you scared? I’m scared. “Carnage” is big and tough and strong and scary. Be scared”. Then “Spider-Man,” says he’s going to tell “Dylan” that “Eddie” is his dad. Is this any of his business in any way? No, but “Spider-Man” is a dick too I guess. Then we learn that the “Venom” that “Spider-Man” was talking was actually “Carnage”. Shenanigans! Even if there’s some explanation of how suddenly “Carnage” is fucking “Mystique” or something I don’t accept it. “Carnage” then gives a tiresome diatribe about how he doesn’t come from “abuse, violence, sex, and whatever else people blame for mass shooters” he actually IS all those things. It’s so over the top it isn’t scary or chilling it’s just “try hard”.

A bunch of “Carnage’s” minions then burst in and “Eddie” is back in loser mode and doesn’t want to fight. Then the “Venom” symbiote is like “eff off loser” and goes on “Bruce Banner”. Oh shit! Then “Carnage” assume because he wasn’t “Venom-Hulk” immediately that he won’t become “Venom-Hulk”… He then becomes “Venom-Hulk”.

So yeah… That was pretty effin’ dumb. Good art and a cool moment at the end though… C+.

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